I Hate Headlines

I hate headlines. Which is inconvenient, because I also want to know what’s going on.

I care about how decisions affect the people I love and the clients who sit in my office. I want to understand enough to make thoughtful choices. So, I open the article. Then I make the mistake of opening the comments.

Somewhere along the way, checking the news becomes scrolling through reactions to the news. I’m irritated with someone I have never met, and I’ve spent more time on my phone than I intended. When I finally put it down, I’m still thinking about what I read.

Maybe you know that feeling.

There’s a lot of advice about this. “Just turn it off” sounds reasonable until something happening in the world directly affects your family. “You need to stay informed” can feel like an obligation to keep watching, even when you’re exhausted and there’s nothing new to learn.

As a therapist, I think helpful guidance needs to leave room for the person trying to use it. That includes knowing yourself well enough to recognize what staying informed is actually doing for you.

How are you doing after you put the phone down?

Some days, I can read something difficult and move on with my day. Other days, the same kind of story stays with me. How much sleep I got and what I’m already carrying affect how I’m able to cope.

You might notice something similar. Maybe you can read a news summary over lunch and feel reasonably caught up. But watching videos before bed leaves you awake, thinking about everything that could happen next.

That’s useful information about yourself.

It helps to pay attention to what happens after you finish reading. Can you settle back into what you were doing? Or are you reaching for your phone again a few minutes later, hoping an update or some other article will help you feel better?

I think that second one is easy to miss. We can keep looking for information because we want some sense of resolution. With many situations, an answer simply isn’t available yet, or resolution isn’t available at all. Refreshing the page gives us something to do while we wait, but it can take up a lot of our day.

What are you looking for?

This is a question I’m trying to ask myself more often.

Sometimes I have a clear reason to check. I need to understand a policy that affects my work, or I want to follow up on something happening locally. Other times, I pick up my phone out of habit and end up somewhere I didn’t mean to spend twenty minutes.

Having a reason to check makes it easier to decide when I’m done.

There are also practical choices that can help. You can turn off notifications and choose a time to catch up. You might read reporting from a reliable source instead of following a story through your social media feed. If footage tends to stay with you, reading the article may work better.

You get to experiment. A boundary that helps during a stressful week can change when you have more capacity.

And what about the guilt?

I think this part deserves some honesty. Having the option to step away from a story can be a privilege when someone else is living it. That matters, and I want it to influence how I respond.

But recognizing that privilege does not create an unlimited capacity to absorb distress. I still have limits, even when I wish I could handle more. I also know that staying on my phone until I’m depleted doesn’t automatically help the people I’m concerned about.

Repeated exposure is not a measure of how much you care. 

I may need that reminder when I feel guilty for closing an article that I don’t have the capacity to finish.

Sometimes what I read points me toward something useful I can do. Other times, I need to

let myself be affected by it, think about what it means, and then return to the people and responsibilities in front of me.

Caring can include taking a break.

Difficult news will feel difficult sometimes. There’s room for that. There’s also room to notice when checking has started interfering with your sleep or making it hard to be present with people you love.

I still want to know what’s happening. I’m trying to get better at recognizing when I’ve learned what I can for the day and I’m just scrolling because putting the phone down feels unfinished.

The story may still be unfolding. I can check back when I am ready.

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